It's that time of year when the elves are shining Santa's boots and the reindeer are playing their games in preparation for for their big night! Mrs. Claus is probably busy making cookies. And the snowmen are decorating the forest trees.
What?
Don't tell me you're too old to believe in Santa. You mean, you gave up the myth decades ago?
Okay, I get it. You're too cool to believe in Santa...no?
Actually, there is a lot of talk (or emails circulating) in the parenting group I belong to about parents perpetuating the Santa "lie". Yes, some people feel they were lied to about Santa when they were kids, and were devastated when they learned the truth.
Our families and culture have created a fantastic story surrounding Santa and the North Pole. My mind easily conjures up colorfully cold visuals complete with lots of snow and icy winds warmed by Santa's fluffy red cloak, soft white beard, and rosy pink cheeks. The elves are alive in my mind, actively and lovingly, handmaking toys. Even Rudolph lives in all his glory of turning his "non-conformity" into a powerful light.
I see how it could be a big disappointment for a child to learn that these things only exist in our minds. But I don't remember holding it against my parents, other adults and big kids, and society at large, for forcing this belief on me. On the contrary, I WANTED to believe.
Imagination is key to a fulfilling life, not to mention the fuel for new ideas and innovations. Children's books herald talking trains and cars with friendly faces. Fairies, dragons, and unicorns alight our fantasies. Beavers, otters, and dogs are best pals. Why is it so different with Santa?
Some parents are telling their kids that Santa is pretend, and that we are playing a game, in order to save them the future disappointment.
I read one father's thoughts and I agree with this: that children should be allowed to believe and negotiate the Santa "myth", as well as any other myths, tales, hypotheses, or opinions, themselves. That a lot of learning happens through the experience of believing in Santa.
He shows that children actually WANT to believe. They begin asking questions like "How does he make it to every kid's house in only one night?" and "How do the reindeer fly?" They are testing the story and its magic, can these things really be true? But if we ask them, "What do you think?", their answers often will show that they are still holding onto the magic and their belief.
As they get older, they begin looking for clues. They notice Santa and Mommy have similar handwriting or the wrapping paper used for gifts from Santa was stored in the attic. The questions become more detective-like.
It reminds me of watching an engaging movie for the first time with someone who has already seen it. As suspense builds, I start asking questions like, "Is she going to live?", "Those people are actually ghosts, right?", and "He's the one who did it, isn't he?" I start fishing for clues, but I don't REALLY want to know the answers. I would actually feel disappointment if someone spoiled the story for me.
Eventually we all grow to the age where reasoning begins to surpass our imagination. We run down the stairs in the middle of Christmas Eve night hoping to catch a glimpse of Santa, but see Mom putting the old typewriter under the tree. Or we sneak out of our rooms and catch Dad eating the cookies and drinking the milk. Or we exclaim proudly, "I figured it out! I was 'looking for my book in your bedroom' and came across a receipt from Toys 'R' Us for the Hot Wheel race track that Santa brought me..."
Hopefully, it isn't a big kid who is the spoiler. It seems some folks hold a residual grudge for that. I don't believe anyone should spoil someone's dreams or beliefs. (Leaving clues may be another topic.)
Dreaming and believing are a valuable skill throughout our lives. One must believe in both the possible and the IMpossible while reaching for goals, because once the belief is gone, many dreams die with it. So, as Journey sang, "Don't Stop Believing!"
And I'll ask you one more time, Do you believe in Santa?
Isn't the back of this leaf splendid? Graham and I went for a walk today through our neighborhood. His small hand gripped mine as we slowly made our way along the gravel sidewalk. He is still short enough that I have to round over in order to walk hand in hand. Meandering with a small child allows my eyes to see extraordinary beauty in an unseen landscape where cars whizz by and dogs happily tromp. If I look closely at this picture, I notice the cracks and weathering of the leaf, pelted by late night hail. This leaf is "out of season", an ode to Fall, past its peak. I draw a parallel that life's beauty is complete despite its perceived hardships. I appreciate the glory in this tiny Nature vignette:)
Check this out! Have you ever seen cones "blooming"? I am in awe...
Check this out! Have you ever seen cones "blooming"? I am in awe...
